i can’t breathe.
i came to the mountains
to find silence—
to trade noise for stillness,
panic for pine.
but the quiet here
isn’t peace.
it’s chaos
in a prettier outfit.
i hear everything now.
every thought.
every voice.
loud.
clear.
mean.
merciless.
the kind of silence
that doesn’t hold you.
it haunts you.
i hiked until my legs shook.
until my lungs forgot how to scream.
until my body begged me
to sweat the sadness out of my skin
and still—
they’re here.
the whispers.
the old ghosts
with new disguises.
i thought maybe
if i climbed high enough,
the noise would stay below.
but it followed.
it always fucking follows.
so here i am.
sore.
burned out.
heart thudding
like it’s trying to outrun me.
and all i want—
is a pause.
a break.
a ceasefire
from this war
called being awake.
just one breath
where it doesn’t hurt to exist.
just one moment
where my mind
shuts the fuck up
and lets me rest.
-Anais
AnaisWrites 